Hate that about you, hate that about me

 August 4, 2023

I'm looking at triggers to overeat. Mine, specifically. 

There is an article that basically says we hate in others what we hate about ourselves. This can lead to understanding of ourselves, then. I have to then look at myself, forgive my stumbles, and accept my faults. 

Here is the link: 

https://tomblog.rip/why-its-important-to-understand-that-we-hate-others-for-what-we-hate-about-ourselves/#:~:text=A%20quote%20by%20Marian%20Keyes,slight%20yet%20you%20still%20dislike 

What I hate: 

  • I hate that my friend is manipulative and gets angry and throws a fit when she doesn't get the attention she wants. 
  • I hate that my friend is gaining weight and looks bad but doesn't seem to care
  • I hate that my friend is constantly bringing up a health issue that has no resolution and is angry about it
  • I hate that my friend has weird hair, weirder every post, and continually makes us look at it
  • I hate that my coworker sounds old and whiney and nerdy on the phone and is talking out loud all the time on the phone. He is passive aggressive.
  • I hate that my friend is socially awkward and clingy and doesn't seem to learn anything and has to be reminded over and over
  • I hate that my friend keeps extending training even when it's time to go
  • I hate that my friend keeps leaving when it's time to relax and chat after class
  • I hate that my friend dismisses me and my ideas when i try to solve a problem with him
  • I hate that my dog follows me around and pants and waits for me to drop something he shouldn't have
Reworded: 
  • I hate that I am manipulative and get angry and throw a fit when I dont get the attention I want
  • I hate that I am gaining weight and look bad but I dont seem to care

  • I hate that I am constantly bringing up a health issue that has no resolution and is angry about it
  • I hate that I have weird hair and continually makes others look at it
  • I hate that I sound old and whiney and nerdy on the phone and am talking out loud all the time on the phone. I am passive aggressive.
  • I hate that I am socially awkward and clingy and I dont seem to learn anything and have to be reminded over and over
  • I hate that I keep extending training even when it's time to go
  • I hate that I keep leaving when it's time to relax and chat after class
  • I hate that I dismiss others and their ideas when they try to solve a problem with me
  • I hate that I follow someone around and pants and waits for me to drop something I shouldn't have
How much truth is there in this?

What can I work on about myself?
  •  Manipulation: Work on my self esteem, as manipulation can be done out of insecurity. Learn something new, try something new, and succeed to build confidence.
  • Attention seeking: Focus more on myself instead of trying to impress others. (Being clingy , extending time to visit)
  • Caring too much about my weight: Eat right and move. Do the work. Get enough rest. Strength train. Create a healthy home - cook at home and stock up on good options like fruit and veg. 
  • Complaining: Learn to accept changes. Think about how I affect others with my whining. Stop being judgmental, let them be. Lead by example. 
  • Loud phone calls: I could stop having meetings at my desk and take them all from a conference room. Lead by example. When others do it I could listen to music. 
  • Dismissing others: I can slow down and really listen when others speak, no matter who it is. 
  • Dog Behavior: I can take the dog for a walk daily to keep him exercised and not so dependent on me for happiness.

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