The Psychology of Unaddiction to Food

 July 29 - The Psychology of Unaddiction to Food

I woke up this morning  contemplating why it is I cannot lose weight and then keep it off. 

I have woken up with this thought every morning, for most of my life. I can remember being as young as 12, trying to figure out how not to go on a binge. 

They say you as you get older you get wiser, but I am now 52 and I feel like I don't know much more about it than when I became conscious that I had a weight problem, possibly at 12 years old. 

I decided a couple of things today. I would open a new blog and I would write in it everyday until I get this figured out. I do believe I won't need to blog for the rest of my life, so this should have an end date. 

I am, for the most part, a process person. I look at processes at work and I find ways to make them better; whether it's new information that needs to be incorporated, new directions, new video formats for training, or better ways of understanding the problems. I work with end users to understand what isn't working for them and I offer new solutions. And then I train people how to use the new process and I follow up that they are using it. I give them the Why. (Why are we doing this a new way? Why do I need to change? )

I'm pretty good at what I do, and yet, when it comes to my own personal life, I really don't approach it this way. 

Before I tell you a few things to know about me, understand that I am not going to throw anyone under the bus (parents, etc.). Everyone has what I will call Trash in their brains, which are incorrect thoughts or beliefs about ourselves that make us act badly. 

As you know now, I did not claim to be a psychologist, I am a process person. So we both know I've got some research to do to figure this out. And dear readers, I will share what I find with you. Assuming at some point I want to publish this blog. I probably should, so I have built in accountability.

I also coach people as a sort of side job, at work, in a project methodology that teaches you critical thinking. My job is to make sure you stay on track when getting certified by doing projects that demonstrate you use evidence, not just come up with solutions from the belief that the solution is right. I can also use this in my formula for weight loss - focusing on evidence, not belief.

I am a wife and a mother of two great kids. They really are great. I have a daughter, which I will call Daughter who likes to cook. And a son which I will call Son who loves cars. My husband, I will call Hubby also loves cars.  When my son and my husband are together, they are "The Boys". 

 All three of these people in my life value their privacy and if I someday become famous for the formula to weight loss, I'm sure they will want no part of that fame, so I'm keeping them out of it. 

You should also know that I am a Martial Artist and a Baker. I have pretty good success with both of these, but in the context of weight loss, they are at opposite ends of helpful to my journey. 

Martial Arts have included Karate, Martial Arts Therapy, Japanese Sword, and Chinese Tai Chi. Each of them is difficult in their own way, but as I've gotten older, I've gravitated to arts that are less percussive on the body. So today, I study only Japanese Sword and Tai Chi. The Martial Arts Therapy is something I used to teach, but the community of students are at risk for Covid, still, in 2023 and we do not have classes at this point. 

As far as Baking, I started when Daughter was two, in 2003, at a local cake supply place so I could learn to decorate birthday cakes. I ended up making one cake a week and had to get rid of them somehow, so I brought them to work. People would show up with forks on Tuesday mornings. 

I also started a charity to raise money for Alopecia as a response to myself losing part of my hair. (I have the kind that does respond to treatment and although it keeps coming back, it does go away). I became known as the Cookie Lady. I ended up raising money for all sorts of charities and still do this today.

Eventually I decided I could look into getting a Baking and Pastry Certificate from the local college, as my friend had done, by going to night school. Not every class was at night however, so I had to make arrangements with work to allow me to work around those classes. It was hard and exhausting. But I did it. 

Today I have a side business, Vicky's Cakes, and it seems to be going pretty well. 

So you can see how my life has locked me in to this struggle - I want to bake and of course eat what I bake, but I also want to be trim and in shape and look good in my clothes. And I want to be able to do things like breakfalls and swing swords without too much difficulty. 

But here is Secret number 1 - it's not the baking that is the problem. My evidence is this: I just went on a two week road trip where I couldn't bake at all, and I gained 5 pounds! It's not the baked goods. 

Snacking definitely has something to do with it, but I believe that it's not that the snacks are evil, it is that my need to load up on them, after dinner especially, outweighs my need to be thin.

But the thoughts that come around when faced with temptation enable me to eat the extra food. One that I came across today was "I want something sweet and unctuous" which turned into "ooh I have fruitcake" on the counter. (Yeah I know its July, it was in the freezer and I'd let it thaw because I wanted some.) How do you combat that thought?

According to Healthline.com, cravings are driven by the brain's need for a reward, not your body's need for food. For those who can just have a bite, indulging in the craving is fine. But for those of us who cannot, giving in to the cravings is the worst thing you can do. 

Their solution is threefold: 

1. If you're hungry, eat a healthy and filling meal.  You have to have healthy foods in the house and have them readily available. They also have to be something you know will taste good. Make sure to include protein so you wont be hungry again soon after. 

2. Take a hot shower for 5 - 10 mins. Let the hot water run off your back to heat you up. This has a sauna effect and curbs cravings for some people. I might try this, especially since at night after dinner is when the cravings hit. I won't have to worry about having to deal with wet hair or putting on makeup at that time of day. 

3. Go for a walk outside. It will distract you and exercise makes you feel better (if you dont overdo it). 

Other ideas include drinking water, having a piece of fruit, eating more protein, get some rest, stretch and meditate to relieve stress, avoid triggers like having chips in the house or chocolate candy. 

I didnt do well once I started my Saturday baking, because I gave in and ate the fruitcake. But other articles I've read remind me to forgive myself and move on rather than chalk it up to a fail day and eat everthing i can, vowing to do better tomorrow.